Your Ultimate Guide to Dinner Party Etiquette: What to Bring (and What Not to Bring)

With the holiday season upon us and dinner parties approaching, from Thanksgiving gatherings to festive Christmas celebrations, it’s time to brush up on the essentials of being a gracious guest. As someone who has been planning and hosting beautiful celebrations for over a decade, I know that dinner parties are among the most cherished gatherings to create and attend. While being a great host is key, knowing how to be a thoughtful guest is equally important. In this guide, we’re sharing everything you need to know about dinner party etiquette, including what to bring, what to avoid, and how to make a memorable impression. Let’s dive into the dos and don’ts of dinner party etiquette for a flawless holiday season.

What to Bring to a Dinner Party

1. Thoughtful Host Gift

   • Bringing a small token of appreciation for the host is a timeless tradition. Consider items like a nice bottle of wine, a set of hand-poured candles, or artisanal chocolates. If you know your host’s preferences, go the extra mile with a gift that reflects their tastes.

2. Wine or Spirits (If Invited to)

   • While wine or spirits can be a lovely addition, it’s essential to check with the host first to see if they welcome alcohol. Be mindful of whether your host drinks alcohol or not—never assume. If they do appreciate a good drink, bring a bottle that offers both value and interest, something that reflects their taste or adds a unique element to the evening. This thoughtfulness shows you’ve put effort into your choice, making it a truly appreciated gesture.

3. A Dish Only If Requested

   • Unless the host has asked for contributions to the meal, avoid bringing food. If you do bring a dish upon request, make sure it complements the menu and doesn’t require too much space or extra preparation in the kitchen.

4. Seasonal Flowers (in a Vase)

   • Flowers can brighten any space, but it’s best to bring them already arranged in a vase to avoid creating extra work for the host. A simple bouquet in fall or winter hues makes for an elegant touch.

5. Personal Note or Card

   • Adding a personal touch with a handwritten card thanking the host for their effort can go a long way. It’s a small gesture that leaves a lasting impression of gratitude.

What Not to Bring to a Dinner Party

1. Uninvited Guests

   • Unless the invitation explicitly includes a plus-one, never assume it’s okay to bring someone else. Respect the host’s guest list and space limitations.

2. Food or Drinks Not Requested by the Host

   • Bringing food or beverages unprompted can interfere with the host’s carefully planned menu. Stick to the host’s guidelines to ensure your contribution complements the evening.

3. Oversized Gifts

   • Large, bulky gifts can be difficult for the host to manage during the event. Save grand gestures for another time, opting instead for small, thoughtful tokens.

4. Strongly Scented Items

   • While scented candles are often lovely, avoid overpowering fragrances, as they can clash with the aromas of the food or be too strong for a shared space.

5. Anything That Requires Immediate Attention

   • Avoid bringing anything that requires the host’s attention, such as elaborate floral arrangements that need trimming or food that needs to be heated. Your host should be able to enjoy their guests without interruptions.

Additional Dinner Party Etiquette Tips

• Arrive on Time, But Not Too Early

  • Aim to arrive on time, but avoid being too early. This gives the host a chance to complete any last-minute preparations.

• Mind Your Table Manners

  • Brush up on your table manners, especially for more formal settings. Basic etiquette like keeping elbows off the table, waiting until everyone is served to begin eating, and engaging in polite conversation are key.

• Engage with All Guests

  • Make an effort to socialize with everyone at the gathering. It’s polite to mingle and show interest in the other guests, especially those you don’t know.

• Help Only If Needed

  • If you see the host in need, offer assistance, but don’t insist if they decline. Some hosts prefer to manage everything themselves, so be respectful of their wishes.

• Thank the Host Twice

  • Express your gratitude at the end of the evening and follow up with a thank-you message the next day. A simple text or card shows that you appreciate their effort in hosting.

Being invited to a dinner party is an honor, and being a thoughtful guest helps create a memorable experience for everyone. This holiday season, keep these tips in mind to ensure you’re contributing positively to any gathering. Remember, a great guest is one who respects the host’s efforts, follows etiquette, and makes the evening more enjoyable for all.

P.S. Ready for more seasonal inspiration? Don’t miss the latest fall issue of The Art of Celebrating magazine, packed with tips, recipes, and stylish ideas to make your gatherings unforgettable. Read the latest issue here!